The Heart of our School Service

"For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming to you was not in vain. But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much conflict. For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed? God is witness.

Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers. For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory." (1 Thess. 2:1ff)

Paul's heart for and ministry to the church is instructive as we strive to serve our students, parents, and each other in a way that pleases Christ.  Here are some simple thoughts and applications on this passage.

Boldness

We must be courageous and bold in declaring truth to students, parents, and to each other. The primary truth is the Gospel.  Never assume that a student or a parent is a believer.  He or she may not be.  As appropriate and with love and wisdom share the Gospel.

In the Midst of Much Conflict

We don't like conflict and we try to avoid it.  However, conflict is unavoidable and is even profitable IF the the conflict arises from being honest versus being a difficult person or responding inappropriately to others.  For example, we need to deal with the conflict that arises when we tell students or parents the truth.  If a student is failing to work hard (being lazy), is being irresponsible, has violated a school policy, is not yet good enough to start on the team, is a bully, etc., we need to say so.  We are to speak the "truth in love," never in a mean spirited or condescending manner, but we must tell the truth.  We don't avoid necessary conflict, we work through it profitability for all concerned.

Pleasing God not Man

We like to be liked.  It is tempting to do that which will make others like us or to avoid doing that which may make some dislike our decisions or us.  The praise of others must not be the motivation for our decisions and actions.  God's praise is to be our goal.  Popularity is as fleeting as your last decision or the latest fad or current values in our culture.  God's standards never change.  We are to desire his smile, not the smile of people.  However, we must also remember that Jesus grew in favor with both God and man.  We don't please God by being obnoxious, difficult, or self-righteous.

Not Self centered-It is Not about Us

Paul sacrificed what he had a right to, willingly gave it up to serve.  Although most of us are compensated well and fairly, most in Christian education could make more in a similar position in the public or corporate sectors.  Our work and ministry could also be easier if we never stretched ourselves, never tried new things, never adopted new methods, never reworked our material, etc.

But our motives are not related to compensation or avoiding extra work or frustration.  Our motive is to serve by being "living sacrifices," by "being "poured out as drink offerings" in service to students, parents, and each other.  This is not easy.  This is not what the world values and preaches.  Our sacrifices are not always known or appreciated by others.  It doesn't matter.  We seek "first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness;" we'll leave the rest to God's wise providence.

Not About our Reputation or Praise

Like Paul, we do not seek "glory" from men.  Whether we are liked and praised (although nice) is irrelevant. What matters is faithful, fruitful service to God as we render service to students, parents, and each other.  Like water on a duck, we must learn to let BOTH the smiles and frowns of others roll off of us.  It is the smile of God, not men, which we seek.

Gentle

I like the title Gentleman, Gentle-man.  In today's culture it is assumed that gentleness is weakness and real men (or modern women) are strong and aggressive.  There is nothing wrong with being strong and aggressive.  In fact, we must be to serve Christ.  Christ was very strong and aggressive (just think of how he responded to the Pharisees!).   But Jesus was also described this way:

Behold, my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased.  I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.  He will not quarrel or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets;  a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory;  and in his name the Gentiles will hope. (Matthew 12:18-21)

We are to combine strength with gentleness in our dealing with others.

Sharing of Ourselves

It is easy to share a lesson, a lecture, truth, even the Gospel.  We just talk.

What is more difficult is sharing ourselves.  This requires time, sacrifice, even vulnerability.  We must share both WHAT (true, etc.) as well as WHO (ourselves).  For example, it is one thing to TELL our spouse that we love him or her, it is another thing to give OURSELVES IN OUR ACTIONS to DO loving things.  Likewise, it is one thing to tell students, parents, and each other truth and that we care.  It is another to demonstrate it.

Hard Labor

Those who have never taught or coached have no idea how hard it is!  It is hard work.  It is often under appreciated.  It takes time away from family.  It goes into the evening and weekends.  And, sometimes, no matter how hard we work, how much effort and time we put into coaching, teaching, or leading we get criticized.  Frankly, sometimes we just plain get abused by others.  So did virtually every saint I can think of in the Bible!  It goes with the territory!

Teaching, coaching, and leading in a Christian school is not a 9 to 5 job.  That is okay.  We are stewards of souls--eternal minds and hearts.  What we do counts forever.  It changes lives.  It changes communities.  It matters.  Therefore, it takes hard work and long hours.  No one makes us do this.  This is a calling.  This is a stewardship.  Whether other appreciate our hard work is irrelevant.  What matters is that we are faithful in cultivating our gifts and fulfilling our callings to the maximum of our God-given abilities.

We have not been called to a "nice life."  We have been called to labor.

Holy and Blameless Conduct

We are redeemed sinners.  We are not perfect.  We sin.  We fail.  We fall.

But, the tenor of our lives must be such that our conduct is holy and blameless, above reproach.  We are morally pure, we are honest and full of integrity, we don't gossip, we don't complain, we are full of the Fruit of the Spirit.  We are not self-serving.  We are, by God's grace, an example to others, especially to our students.

Exhorted, Encouraged, Charged

We urge and appeal to our students, parents and each other to do the right thing.  We encourage the discouraged, the tired, those who have stumbled and need a helping hand up.  We commission others--giving them instruction and a mission.

What a hard and glorious calling we have!  May God grant us the grace to fulfill it for his smile and for his kingdom!

Does Success Spoil or Sanctify Our Students?

By most measures you and I are "successful." We live in a land of freedom and opportunity. Notwithstanding any financial stresses in our lives, we have shelter, clothing, and food. We have family and friends. Most of us are in good health. Compared to most people in this world, you and I are very "successful." We live in relative ease. So do our children!

And therein lies one of our greatest dangers. We and our children are easily spoiled. Success and ease tend to make us self-absorbed, self-sufficient, self-righteous, and self-seeking.

• We come to believe that "we are owed a life of success and ease."
• We and our children come to believe that "life is about us."
• We come to believe that "we produced our success."

We become autonomous, thinking that we do not really need God. We may not say we don't need him but the way we live?a weak prayer life, a weak devotional life, inconsistent worship on the Lord's Day, and the constant compromises we make in disobeying God's clear commands?all reflect what we really believe.

This is the danger facing Israel. They have won great victories and are now preparing to settle down in peace and prosperity. The danger is that their success will spoil rather than sanctify them.

There is a wonderful passage in Joshua following the wars in Canaan. The Israelis have just conquered their enemies and are preparing to settle in the new land flowing with milk and honey. They have been successful and are now preparing to enjoy the fruit of their labor. Matthew Henry describes the scene this way, "The war being ended, and ended gloriously, Joshua, as a prudent general, disbands his army ... and sends them home, to enjoy what they had conquered, and to beat their swords into plough-shares and their spears into pruning-hooks ... And, now ... Joshua publicly and solemnly ... gives them their discharge."

Only be very careful to observe the commandment and the law that Moses the servant of the LORD commanded you, to love the LORD your God, and to walk in all his ways and to keep his commandments and to cling to him and to serve him with all your heart and with all your soul." (Josh.: 22:5)

Although these are somewhat synonymous for the purpose of emphasis, there is value in considering the particular meaning of each verb: Observe, Love, Walk, Keep, Cling, and Serve.

To Observe

To notice, watch attentively, fulfill and comply with. We are to spend time knowing, understanding, and complying with God's word. How is your Bible study? How is your attendance at worship?

To Love

: to have a great interest and pleasure in something. This exhortation is the essence of the "first and greatest commandment," to love God passionately, with every fiber of one's being (Deut. 6:5; Matt 22:37-38). The primary purpose and chief end of our existence is to glorify God and to enjoy him forever, to take pleasure in God.

Do you enjoy God? Are you more passionate about God or something/someone else?

To Walk

Walking means to order the whole of one's life by God's word and to be filled with his Spirit. When we rise up, walk through the day, and lie down at night, in ALL his ways?even those that are narrow and up-hill, in every particular instance?God's word is to be our compass.

You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates. (Deut. 6:7-9)

Everyone then who hears these words of mine and does them will be like a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat on that house, but it did not fall, because it had been founded on the rock. And everyone who hears these words of mine and does not do them will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell, and great was the fall of it." (Matt. 7:24-27)

To Keep

To honor or fulfill, to observe or pay due regard to God's commands. There is no "BUT" in the believer's response to God's commands! Believers are never to say, "I would obey but....." If we love God, we keep his word.

If you love me, you will keep my commandments. And I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever, even the Spirit of truth, whom the world cannot receive, because it neither sees him nor knows him ... Whoever has my commandments and keeps them, he it is who loves me. And he who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I will love him and manifest myself to him. (Jn.: 14:15ff)

To Cling

To hold tightly to, to be hard to remove from; to adhere to someone, to remain persistently faithful to God and his word. We cling both out of love and need. He is our life! He is our life and our treasure?we grasp him tightly!

"I came that they may have life and have it abundantly." (Jn. 10:10)

To Serve

Life is NOT ABOUT US. Life is about loving and serving God; life is about serving his kingdom.

Share in suffering as a good soldier of Christ Jesus. No soldier gets entangled in civilian pursuits, since his aim is to please the one who enlisted him. An athlete is not crowned unless he competes according to the rules. It is the hard-working farmer who ought to have the first share of the crops. Think over what I say, for the Lord will give you understanding in everything. Remember Jesus Christ, risen from the dead, the offspring of David, as preached in my gospel, for which I am suffering, bound with chains as a criminal. But the word of God is not bound! Therefore I endure everything for the sake of the elect, that they also may obtain the salvation that is in Christ Jesus with eternal glory. The saying is trustworthy, for: If we have died with him, we will also live with him; if we endure, we will also reign with him; if we deny him, he also will deny us; if we are faithless, he remains faithful for he cannot deny himself. (1 Cor. 9:10)

Our success in this life will either spoil us and our children or it will motivate us to show our gratitude by renewing our commitment to Observe, Love, Walk, Keep, Cling, and Serve!

Does Your Waiter Follow These Rules? What Rules Would You Write for Serving Your Parents?

October 2009

100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do

NYTimes, Bruce Buschel

Dr. Barrett Mosbacker, PublisherI found the following list of “rules” fascinating for several reasons: 1) It gives me a glimpse into the restaurant customer service world, 2) I found many (not all) of the rules outlined to be consistent with biblical principles of courtesy, and 3) it got me to thinking, “what would my list look like if I wrote one for Christian  teachers and administrators serving students and parents?” 

Here is an opportunity to share with our readers.  Read through the list below.  Then go to The Christian School Journal blog Facebook page, click “Discussions” and under the topic “100 Things Christian School Employees Should Never Do” post the items that you would include in a list of “100 Things Christian School Employees Should Never Do.”  Alternatively, you can post your list with the comment feature (left menu of this article).

If there are 100 for restaurant service staff, surely there are 100 for serving our parents.  After all, they are paying customers of the educational services we provide. 

Like the list below, keep each item simple and straight forward, including a touch of humor where appropriate. 

I will compile the suggestions and post them in a subsequent article.  Perhaps we can compile a list that will be of help to Christian schools and the parents they serve. 

100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do

1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.
6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.
7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”
19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.
29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.
30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.
35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.
37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.
38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”
39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.
41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.    
42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.
44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.
45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.

51. If there is a service charge, alert your guests when you present the bill. It’s not a secret or a trick.

52. Know your menu inside and out. If you serve Balsam Farm candy-striped beets, know something about Balsam Farm and candy-striped beets.

53. Do not let guests double-order unintentionally; remind the guest who orders ratatouille that zucchini comes with the entree.

54. If there is a prix fixe, let guests know about it. Do not force anyone to ask for the “special” menu.

55. Do not serve an amuse-bouche without detailing the ingredients. Allergies are a serious matter; peanut oil can kill. (This would also be a good time to ask if anyone has any allergies.)

56. Do not ignore a table because it is not your table. Stop, look, listen, lend a hand. (Whether tips are pooled or not.)

57. Bring the pepper mill with the appetizer. Do not make people wait or beg for a condiment.

58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.

59. Do not leave place settings that are not being used.

60. Bring all the appetizers at the same time, or do not bring the appetizers. Same with entrees and desserts.

61. Do not stand behind someone who is ordering. Make eye contact. Thank him or her.

62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You’ll make people nervous.

62(a). Do not let a glass sit empty for too long.

63. Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right.

64. Specials, spoken and printed, should always have prices.

65. Always remove used silverware and replace it with new.

66. Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor — be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.

67. Never stack the plates on the table. They make a racket. Shhhhhh.

68. Do not reach across one guest to serve another.

69. If a guest is having trouble making a decision, help out. If someone wants to know your life story, keep it short. If someone wants to meet the chef, make an effort.

70. Never deliver a hot plate without warning the guest. And never ask a guest to pass along that hot plate.

71. Do not race around the dining room as if there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency. (Unless there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency.)

72. Do not serve salad on a freezing cold plate; it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared.

73. Do not bring soup without a spoon. Few things are more frustrating than a bowl of hot soup with no spoon.

74. Let the guests know the restaurant is out of something before the guests read the menu and order the missing dish.

75. Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.

76. Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.

77. Do not disappear.

78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.

79. When someone orders a drink “straight up,” determine if he wants it “neat” — right out of the bottle — or chilled. Up is up, but “straight up” is debatable.

80. Never insist that a guest settle up at the bar before sitting down; transfer the tab.

81. Know what the bar has in stock before each meal.

82. If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.

83. Ask if your guest wants his coffee with dessert or after. Same with an after-dinner drink.

84. Do not refill a coffee cup compulsively. Ask if the guest desires a refill.

84(a). Do not let an empty coffee cup sit too long before asking if a refill is desired.

85. Never bring a check until someone asks for it. Then give it to the person who asked for it.

86. If a few people signal for the check, find a neutral place on the table to leave it.

87. Do not stop your excellent service after the check is presented or paid.

88. Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.

89. Never patronize a guest who has a complaint or suggestion; listen, take it seriously, address it.

90. If someone is getting agitated or effusive on a cellphone, politely suggest he keep it down or move away from other guests.

91. If someone complains about the music, do something about it, without upsetting the ambiance. (The music is not for the staff — it’s for the customers.)

92. Never play a radio station with commercials or news or talking of any kind.

93. Do not play brass — no brassy Broadway songs, brass bands, marching bands, or big bands that feature brass, except a muted flugelhorn.

94. Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn’t like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Bublé, you have just ruined a meal.

95. Never hover long enough to make people feel they are being watched or hurried, especially when they are figuring out the tip or signing for the check.

96. Do not say anything after a tip — be it good, bad, indifferent — except, “Thank you very much.”

97. If a guest goes gaga over a particular dish, get the recipe for him or her.

98. Do not wear too much makeup or jewelry. You know you have too much jewelry when it jingles and/or draws comments.

99. Do not show frustration. Your only mission is to serve. Be patient. It is not easy.

100. Guests, like servers, come in all packages. Show a “good table” your appreciation with a free glass of port, a plate of biscotti or something else management approves.