The Heart of our School Service

"For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming to you was not in vain. But though we had already suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi, as you know, we had boldness in our God to declare to you the gospel of God in the midst of much conflict. For our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive, but just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts. For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed? God is witness.

Nor did we seek glory from people, whether from you or from others, though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ. But we were gentle among you, like a nursing mother taking care of her own children. So, being affectionately desirous of you, we were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us. For you remember, brothers, our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers. For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you and encouraged you and charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God, who calls you into his own kingdom and glory." (1 Thess. 2:1ff)

Paul's heart for and ministry to the church is instructive as we strive to serve our students, parents, and each other in a way that pleases Christ.  Here are some simple thoughts and applications on this passage.

Boldness

We must be courageous and bold in declaring truth to students, parents, and to each other. The primary truth is the Gospel.  Never assume that a student or a parent is a believer.  He or she may not be.  As appropriate and with love and wisdom share the Gospel.

In the Midst of Much Conflict

We don't like conflict and we try to avoid it.  However, conflict is unavoidable and is even profitable IF the the conflict arises from being honest versus being a difficult person or responding inappropriately to others.  For example, we need to deal with the conflict that arises when we tell students or parents the truth.  If a student is failing to work hard (being lazy), is being irresponsible, has violated a school policy, is not yet good enough to start on the team, is a bully, etc., we need to say so.  We are to speak the "truth in love," never in a mean spirited or condescending manner, but we must tell the truth.  We don't avoid necessary conflict, we work through it profitability for all concerned.

Pleasing God not Man

We like to be liked.  It is tempting to do that which will make others like us or to avoid doing that which may make some dislike our decisions or us.  The praise of others must not be the motivation for our decisions and actions.  God's praise is to be our goal.  Popularity is as fleeting as your last decision or the latest fad or current values in our culture.  God's standards never change.  We are to desire his smile, not the smile of people.  However, we must also remember that Jesus grew in favor with both God and man.  We don't please God by being obnoxious, difficult, or self-righteous.

Not Self centered-It is Not about Us

Paul sacrificed what he had a right to, willingly gave it up to serve.  Although most of us are compensated well and fairly, most in Christian education could make more in a similar position in the public or corporate sectors.  Our work and ministry could also be easier if we never stretched ourselves, never tried new things, never adopted new methods, never reworked our material, etc.

But our motives are not related to compensation or avoiding extra work or frustration.  Our motive is to serve by being "living sacrifices," by "being "poured out as drink offerings" in service to students, parents, and each other.  This is not easy.  This is not what the world values and preaches.  Our sacrifices are not always known or appreciated by others.  It doesn't matter.  We seek "first the Kingdom of God and his righteousness;" we'll leave the rest to God's wise providence.

Not About our Reputation or Praise

Like Paul, we do not seek "glory" from men.  Whether we are liked and praised (although nice) is irrelevant. What matters is faithful, fruitful service to God as we render service to students, parents, and each other.  Like water on a duck, we must learn to let BOTH the smiles and frowns of others roll off of us.  It is the smile of God, not men, which we seek.

Gentle

I like the title Gentleman, Gentle-man.  In today's culture it is assumed that gentleness is weakness and real men (or modern women) are strong and aggressive.  There is nothing wrong with being strong and aggressive.  In fact, we must be to serve Christ.  Christ was very strong and aggressive (just think of how he responded to the Pharisees!).   But Jesus was also described this way:

Behold, my servant whom I have chosen, my beloved with whom my soul is well pleased.  I will put my Spirit upon him, and he will proclaim justice to the Gentiles.  He will not quarrel or cry aloud, nor will anyone hear his voice in the streets;  a bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not quench, until he brings justice to victory;  and in his name the Gentiles will hope. (Matthew 12:18-21)

We are to combine strength with gentleness in our dealing with others.

Sharing of Ourselves

It is easy to share a lesson, a lecture, truth, even the Gospel.  We just talk.

What is more difficult is sharing ourselves.  This requires time, sacrifice, even vulnerability.  We must share both WHAT (true, etc.) as well as WHO (ourselves).  For example, it is one thing to TELL our spouse that we love him or her, it is another thing to give OURSELVES IN OUR ACTIONS to DO loving things.  Likewise, it is one thing to tell students, parents, and each other truth and that we care.  It is another to demonstrate it.

Hard Labor

Those who have never taught or coached have no idea how hard it is!  It is hard work.  It is often under appreciated.  It takes time away from family.  It goes into the evening and weekends.  And, sometimes, no matter how hard we work, how much effort and time we put into coaching, teaching, or leading we get criticized.  Frankly, sometimes we just plain get abused by others.  So did virtually every saint I can think of in the Bible!  It goes with the territory!

Teaching, coaching, and leading in a Christian school is not a 9 to 5 job.  That is okay.  We are stewards of souls--eternal minds and hearts.  What we do counts forever.  It changes lives.  It changes communities.  It matters.  Therefore, it takes hard work and long hours.  No one makes us do this.  This is a calling.  This is a stewardship.  Whether other appreciate our hard work is irrelevant.  What matters is that we are faithful in cultivating our gifts and fulfilling our callings to the maximum of our God-given abilities.

We have not been called to a "nice life."  We have been called to labor.

Holy and Blameless Conduct

We are redeemed sinners.  We are not perfect.  We sin.  We fail.  We fall.

But, the tenor of our lives must be such that our conduct is holy and blameless, above reproach.  We are morally pure, we are honest and full of integrity, we don't gossip, we don't complain, we are full of the Fruit of the Spirit.  We are not self-serving.  We are, by God's grace, an example to others, especially to our students.

Exhorted, Encouraged, Charged

We urge and appeal to our students, parents and each other to do the right thing.  We encourage the discouraged, the tired, those who have stumbled and need a helping hand up.  We commission others--giving them instruction and a mission.

What a hard and glorious calling we have!  May God grant us the grace to fulfill it for his smile and for his kingdom!

Pigs' Brains: More Than Meets the Eye

To this day I remember the morning my father made breakfast for me.  When I was a young boy my father prepared a hearty breakfast, placing before me a plate filled with scrambled eggs, toast, and bacon.  It was delicious and being a growing boy I asked for seconds.  In fact, if my recollection is correct, I ate three helpings of scrambled eggs!

When I was finished my father asked, “did you enjoy your breakfast?” “Yes,” I replied enthusiastically and gratefully.  “That was good!”

With a mischievous look on his face, he inquired, “Do you know what you ate?”  “Sure, scrambled eggs.”  He smiled.  “Those were pigs’ brains, would you like more?”

I felt sick.  I’m sure I turned green.

Not everything is as it appears.  We are easily deceived by outward appearances.  Because a plate of pigs’ brains looked like scrambled eggs and because I was expecting scrambled eggs, my mind told me, despite the “rich” flavor of these particular “eggs,” that I was eating scrambled eggs.  I was wrong, a fact that my father never tires of reminding me!

Life is like that.  We think we see things clearly.  We think we understand.  We think we have it figured out.  The truth is that appearances can be deceiving; there is often more than meets the eye.

Elisha’s servant discovered this truth. Take a moment to read this short passage to get the context:

Once when the king of Syria was warring against Israel, he took counsel with his servants, saying, “At such and such a place shall be my camp.” But the man of God sent word to the king of Israel, “Beware that you do not pass this place, for the Syrians are going down there.” And the king of Israel sent to the place about which the man of God told him. Thus he used to warn him, so that he saved himself there more than once or twice.

And the mind of the king of Syria was greatly troubled because of this thing, and he called his servants and said to them, “Will you not show me who of us is for the king of Israel?” And one of his servants said, “None, my lord, O king; but Elisha, the prophet who is in Israel, tells the king of Israel the words that you speak in your bedroom.” And he said, “Go and see where he is, that I may send and seize him.” It was told him, “Behold, he is in Dothan.” So he sent there horses and chariots and a great army, and they came by night and surrounded the city.

When the servant of the man of God rose early in the morning and went out, behold, an army with horses and chariots was all around the city. And the servant said, “Alas, my master! What shall we do?” (2 Kings 6:8-15)

All outward appearances told the frightened servant that they were surrounded and were about to be taken prisoner or killed.

But there is more than meets the eye.

[Elisha] said, “Do not be afraid, for those who are with us are more than those who are with them.” Then Elisha prayed and said, “O LORD, please open his eyes that he may see.”

So the LORD opened the eyes of the young man, and he saw, and behold, the mountain was full of horses and chariots of fire all around Elisha.  (2 Kings 6:15-17)

Do you feel surrounded?  Are you struggling with physical illness—perhaps even a life threatening one?  Is there turmoil in your marriage?  Are you wrestling with a prodigal son or daughter?  Are you the victim of verbal abuse, gossip, or slander?  Do you feel the weight and stress of financial difficulties?  Do you tire of the onslaught of crisis in this world-earthquakes, nuclear reactors, riots in the Mideast, political bickering in Washington, and corruption on Wall Street?  Are you discouraged by the relentless and precipitous decline in our country’s moral standards?

Do you feel like God has abandoned or is ignoring you?

Like Elisha’s servant we easily see our troubles and are easily frightened, worried, and sometimes overwhelmed.  We see trials in our lives but we don’t always see or sense God’s invisible chariots or his guardian angels!  He often seems absent, silent, and indifferent.

Take heart!

Always remember that no matter how dark the days, how silent God may be, how overwhelming life may seem at times, God is always present with his children.  We are never forsaken, never abandoned, never forgotten.  He IS “causing ALL things to work TOGETHER for good TO THOSE LOVE GOD, who are called according to his purpose.” (Rom. 8:28)

To reverse my story about pigs’ brains and scrambled eggs, when surrounded by fear and/or doubt, remember that what appears like pigs’ brains are actually scrambled eggs!

Ask God to give you spiritual eyes to see his love, his wisdom, and his protection.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed …

So we do not lose heart. Though our outer self is wasting away, our inner self is being renewed day by day.  For this light momentary affliction is preparing for us an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison, as we look not to the things that are seen but to the things that are unseen. For the things that are seen are transient, but the things that are unseen are eternal.  (2 Corinthians 4:7-12; 16-18)

Life may look like pigs’ brains but there is more than meets the eye in our lives—God surrounds us with his love, wisdom, guardian angels, and good purposes.  Take heart!

When Times are Difficult Consider Said Musa

Leading a school can be a tough business!  I joke with my parents that my job is easy;

I only deal with people’s children, money, and religion!

People can be complainers, inconsiderate, gossips, stubborn, resistant to change, and just downright mean and ornery.   Such people can make our jobs and lives miserable.

Before you and I start feeling sorry for ourselves, consider Said Musa’s situation.  After reading of his plight I believe we will gain a little perspective on our troubles.

Said Musa’s Story

A terrible drama is unfolding in Afghanistan: There are reports that Said Musa, whose
situation I described at Christmas, will soon be executed for the ‘crime’ of choosing to
become a Christian. (For background, see here.)

Musa was one of about 25 Christians arrested on May 31, 2010, after a May 27 Noorin TV
program showed video of a worship service held by indigenous Afghan Christians; he was
arrested as he attempted to seek asylum at the German embassy. He converted to Christianity eight years ago, is the father of six young children, had a leg amputated after he stepped on a landmine while serving in the Afghan Army, and now has a prosthetic leg. His
oldest child is eight and one is disabled (she cannot speak). He worked for the Red Cross/Red Crescent as an adviser to other amputees.

He was forced to appear before a judge without any legal counsel and without knowledge of
the charges against him. “Nobody [wanted to be my] defender before the court. When I said
‘I am a Christian man,’ he [a potential lawyer] immediately spat on me and abused me and
mocked me… . I am alone between 400 [people with] terrible values in the jail, like a sheep.”
He has been beaten, mocked, and subjected to sleep deprivation and sexual abuse while in
prison. No Afghan lawyer will defend him and authorities denied him access to a foreign
lawyer.

Any and every human being who is imprisoned, abused, or tortured for the free and peaceful
expression of their faith deserves our support, but Musa is also a remarkable person and
Christian. In a letter smuggled to the West, he says, “The authority and prisoners in jail did
many bad behavior with me about my faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. For example, they did
sexual things with me, beat me by wood, by hands, by legs, put some things on my head.”
He added a thing much more important to him, that they “mocked me ‘he’s Jesus Christ,’
spat on me, nobody let me for sleep night and day… . Please, please, for the sake of Lord
Jesus Christ help me.” (See the full letter here)

He has also stated that he is willing to give his life for his faith. “Please, please you should
transfer me from this jail to a jail that supervises the believers… . I also agree … to sacrifice
my life in public [where] I will tell [about my] faith in Lord Jesus Christ, son of God, [so]
other believers will take courage and be strong in their faith.”

… The Wall Street Journal reports that “Afghan officials have been unapologetic:

The sentence for a convert is death and there is no exception.

said Jamal Khan, chief of staff at the Ministry of Justice.

They must be sentenced to death to serve as a lesson for others.

Here is Said Musa’s handwritten letter (click on the image to see a larger version).

Our Response:

• Let’s pray consistently for Said Musa and other persecuted Christians.
• Tell these stories to our students so that they understand the price that many Christians are called to pay to follow Jesus—a price that we and they may be called upon to pay as well.
• Use this story in Bible classes, chapels, and staff devotions as an antidote to the false prosperity “gospel.”
• Our struggles are real and they hurt but keep them in perspective.  Said Musa lost a leg, has a disabled daughter, has been imprisoned, beaten, humiliated, spat upon, and abused.  He will likely be executed for being a Christian.  There is no hint of blaming God, claiming God is unfair, etc.  Instead, he is willing to die publically to be a witness for Jesus.  I don’t know about you, but my meager struggles pale in comparison—in fact there is NO comparison.
• Let us learn to suffer hardship, of whatever sort, for the sake of serving Christ and his kingdom in and through our schools.  May God grant us the grace to joyfully endure hardship and to be counted worthy to suffer for his sake.  May we mirror Said’s commitment to Christ before our students and parents.

Some of Us Have Been Talking…

Dr. Marni Halvorson (Head of School, Covenant Day School)

Dear Christian school parent,

When something occurs that we h ave questions about, it’s not uncommon to ask others their impression or understanding. This happens frequently in connection to situations or circumstances at our Christian school. Perhaps a teacher gives an assignment to students that is unclear to a parent, or a child relays comments made in the classroom that are unsettling. A parent may turn to other parents in the carpool line for their assessment of the situation rather than going directly to the teacher. At times this fact finding clears confusion and it is back to business as usual. Other times, however, the communication begins to take on a different perspective. Second hand information can slip into idle talk or rumor; that is, we have become involved in gossip. This is true not only of parents and the carpool line; there are occasions when a teacher standing at the photocopier may ask another teacher a question that really is best directed back to a parent instead.

Words have tremendous power! They can be used for building up or for tearing down. In The Purpose Driven Life, author Rick Warren writes, “Refuse to listen to gossip. Gossip is passing on information when you are neither part of the problem nor part of the solution” (164). Note that gossip is not defined as untrue information; rather information that we are not to pass along because we are not directly involved as the source of the matter nor as the resolution thereof. What begins as perhaps an off-hand remark can morph into a communication that ultimately is highly inflammatory.

Jerry Bridges, in his book Respectable Sins, makes the point that the Bible is filled with warnings about the sins of the tongue, including gossip (159). Sin is sin, and even sins of the tongue are offensive to God. Unfavorable information can be extremely damaging. Often in the telling and re-telling, a communication “grows” details or the story gets twisted and distorted. We Christians are called to a higher standard. Scripture clearly warns us in Prov. 20:19, “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much.” Prov. 26:20 adds, “Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down.”

We want our Christian school to be a place where gossip finds no welcome. Our faculty and staff are working to be conscientious about not spreading gossip. We have challenged ourselves to be accountable in this area. We do not want to be the source of the problem through our own words; we do not want to be the subject of someone else’s idle talk or rumor; we want to avoid being caught up as listeners.

We know that it can be awkward to find yourself near the front end of what is quickly revealing itself to be gossip. It takes spiritual sensitivity and boldness to say, “Please stop. I don’t need to hear this. Have you spoken directly to that person?” It may be uncomfortable for most of us to make such a direct request. But we want to use the gift of language in the manner God intended, to encourage and edify. Eph. 4:29 boldly directs us: “Let no unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.”

If you agree that we have taken on a worthy challenge, would you join us in replacing gossip with Godly conversation? We commit to doing our best to assure that you have clear and open channels to teachers, administrators and coaches so that you will have timely and accurate information, especially as it relates specifically to your son or daughter. We also commit to assuring you that your communications with us are handled with respect and confidentiality.

May God be pleased with our communications as well as our motives and actions; and may He be honored as we give grace to everyone who hears us speak.

The Power of Relationships and School Culture

Reflections about Relationships, Dr. Kynerd (Chancellor of Briarwood Christian School)

These brief Reflections are offered to encourage you to have the Lord as your shepherd, remain faithful to honor Him in the ways you handle relationships, respond to each relationship opportunity with confidence and security rooted in God, remember God’s sufficiency, and be grateful for the gift of each day.

1. People are more important to God than anything. John 3:16. Therefore Christian school workers must honor people in ways consistent with God’s love for people. Honoring people as a reflection of our love for God becomes a cornerstone for building a grace community. Love one another. John 15:12.

2. Every School worker is confronted with challenges, tension, disappointments, conflict, etc. We reveal our view of God by how we receive issues and by how we respond to the issues and the people God connected with them! Matthew 6:25-33 invites us to trust God. The alternative is to trust ourselves and/or the circumstances. Initial indicators of trusting self/circumstances are worry, criticism, complaining, or feeling underappreciated! An initial indicator of trusting God is to immediately ask “Father, what would you have me learn from this and would you guide my response?” Run from self to God!

3. Dr. Harry Reeder, pastor of Briarwood Presbyterian Church, says “One indicator of our reverence for the Lord is how we treat one another.” How are students, teachers, staff, parents, and visitors treated at your School?

4. When communicating with people “Say what you mean, mean what you say but never be mean or convey criticism in what you say.” Each contact, personal and impersonal, provides a discipleship opportunity. May we see our opportunities and responsibilities as treasured gifts from God.

5. How you respond to people and tension defines your view of people and of excellence and will have life changing impact person by person. What happens at school will last to eternity and it may impact which eternity a person has.

6. How you do what you do will define the School’s culture! School culture has an overwhelming influence on defining School success and advancement! “Love Never Fails.” I Corinthians 13:8. James 1-3 instructs us in needed wisdom.

The leadership of the School plays the determining role in how people will be viewed and if God’s perspective about people will be the School’s practice with people! May we honor God by trusting and loving Him, by our dependence on Him, and by growing in gratitude to Him for people.

You're Fired! I Quit! How to Avoid Horror Stories in Board and Administrator Relationships

Dr. Barrett Mosbacker, PublisherI don’t like horror films.  I find nothing redeeming about them and I don’t like leaving a movie theater feeling worse for the experience. Therefore, I don’t watch horror films.

But there is no escape—the horror stories still manage to find me.  I frequently receive calls and emails from frustrated board members, administrators, and pastors concerning alleged bad governance and inappropriate interference by the school board or the alleged ineptness of the school’s administrator.  I’ve heard some pretty horrible stories and I’ve seen some pretty bloody outcomes.

Of all of the challenges facing Christian schools, tense relationships between the school board and administrators rank in the top five. Why is this the case and more importantly, how do we turn these horror stories into love stories?

A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another."  (Joh 13:34-35)

There is very little I like about growing older and “more experienced”.  The one redeeming blessing is that, by God’s grace, one gains perspective and at least a modicum of wisdom with age.  With the prayer that the Lord might grant a bit of wisdom in the writing of this short article about fostering effective and positive relationships between the school board and chief administrator, I will share a few insights I have gleaned through God’s word, careful observations, and personal experience.

To Administrators

I am a school administrator so one could naturally assume that I would tend to side with administrators when dealing with poor school board relationships.  Although there is plenty of blame to go around, I begin with administrators because frequently it is the failures of administrators that precipitate problems with school boards.  Not always—sometimes administrators are the victims of boards—but too often administrators create unnecessary problems for themselves, for the board, and for the school.

Rather than writing a lengthy narrative, I will provide a simple, but I trust not simplistic, list of do’s and don’ts that the reader can contextualized for his or her situation.

Do’s

• Nurture your spiritual growth so that you increasingly manifest the Fruit of the Spirit in all of your relationships, including those with your board.

I am not starting with this in an attempt to “be spiritual” or “politically correct” for my Christian readers.  I start with the Fruit of the Spirit because it is foundational to fostering a godly perspective and godly responses.  Carefully study each of the fruit listed: to what extent do you consistently demonstrate this fruit in every interaction with school board members?

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another. (Gal 5:22-26)

• Pray for board members who mistreat you--and I do not mean imprecatory prayers either! 

Board members are usually not your enemy but even if they prove to be, pray for them, remembering that the “Lord turns the king’s heart like the rivers of water.”  I did not write pray for your situation or for yourself; I wrote pray for the board member(s) who are treating you like an enemy.  Pray for him or her.  Pray that God will bless them, will grant them wisdom, and that they will manifest the Fruit of the Spirit.  I find it difficult to remain angry or bitter against those for whom I am actively praying. 

"But I say to you who hear, Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who abuse you. To one who strikes you on the cheek, offer the other also, and from one who takes away your cloak do not withhold your tunic either. (Luk 6:27-29)

• Listen and invite

One of the first things I do each year is take each new board member to lunch.  My purpose is NOT to share with him or her my vision, my concerns, or my agenda.  My purpose is NOT to “sell.”  My purpose is to invite the board member to share with me his or her vision for the school and any concerns that he or she may have.  I am there to listen and to learn.  Inevitably I  have an opportunity to share my perspective but my primary motive is to carefully listen and learn from the new board member for the Scriptures teach that we are to be “Quick to hear and slow to speak” (James 1:19) and that “There is wisdom in many counselors.” (Prov. 24:6) 

To stimulate fruitful discussion I typically ask several questions:

--How long have you been interested in serving on the school board?

--What do you see as the primary strengths of the school?

--What do you see as the primary weaknesses of the school?

--What are one or two things you would most like to see done to enhance the school’s program and ministry over the next three years?

--What can I or my staff do to assist you as a school board member?

--Do you have a particular concern that I can address?

--Is there anything else you would like to share with me?

• Integrate the board’s vision and concerns into your planning

Although it is the administrator’s primary responsibility to chart the long-term course for the school’s development, the planning should always incorporate input from board members.  The perspective of the board as a whole should be enthusiastically integrated into any plans whenever appropriate and feasible.  There should be a bias that says, “We can do that!”  School administrators are never to operate as “lone rangers” with the idea that they are to lead and the board is to follow.  Yes, the administrator has primary responsibility to lead but effective leaders will honor the board by honoring the vision, desires, and concerns expressed by board members whenever possible.

• Under promise, over deliver

Have you ever had the experience of having great expectations for a new restaurant only to be disappointed in the food and/or service?  It is very unlikely that you will frequent that restaurant again.  On the other hand, if you go into a restaurant with no particular expectation and discover that the food is wonderful and service is outstanding you are likely to do two things: 1) tell your friends about this wonderful new restaurant and 2) return for another meal.

The principle is simple: if our modest expectations are exceeded—we are pleased.  If our expectations are not met we are disappointed, frustrated, perhaps even angry.  The same principle applies to the expectations of our parents, employees, and board members.  It is far better to under promise and over-deliver than to disappoint.

In our zeal to placate, to impress, to ‘sell’, or to demonstrate our competence, it is tempting to make promises or commitments to board members, employees or parents that we cannot keep.  If we over promise we will disappoint.  Disappointment leads to lost credibility, diminished trust, and the loss of good will.  It is far better to be conservative in one’s commitments and then to exceed those expectations. 

• Provide energetic, visionary, positive leadership

Be passionate.  I am not referring to personal charisma or coming off like a used car salesman.  Sustainable excitement arises from casting an achievable (remember—under promise/over deliver) vision for the future of the school.  In other words, the administrator should make a priority of articulating exciting new initiatives designed to enhance and expand the school’s programs.  The administrator should be future orientated while simultaneously dealing with real day-to-day issues. 

Providing such a vision requires that the administrator work hard at being creative or to use a worn out cliché, practicing “thinking outside the box.”  Board members want to know that the administrator is actively planning for the future—a future in which the school is stronger, more vibrant, and with an increasing impact on students and the surrounding community.

Board members are not encouraged when the administrator focuses on problems and/or “administrivia”.  Good boards want future oriented administrators who are moving the school forward.

• Do your job

No excuses—the buck stops with you.  Although board members can “step over the line” by attempting to deal with issues that properly fall under the administrator’s purview, most do so out of ignorance and the best of intentions.  More often than not board members begin to micro-manage the affairs of the school when they are losing or have lost confidence in the administrator. This is not always the reason—sometimes board members have inappropriate and self-centered agendas (which I address to board members below), but I believe this is the exception rather than the rule.

Most board members do not want the administrator’s job.  In fact, most board members would give a big sigh of relief if they thought they no longer had to worry about how the school was being led.  It is the administrator’s responsibility to lead so competently that the school board never has to concern itself with managerial matters.  This is only possible when they have learned that their administrator will properly handle any issue that arises and is providing competent, visionary, proactive, and positive leadership.

• Recruit and vet potential board members

Although the school’s bylaws determine how the nomination and election of board members is handled, it is the administrator’s responsibility (along with other board members) to encourage potential board members to prayerfully consider serving.  Potential board members should reflect these qualities:

--Have demonstrated Christian maturity in all of their relationships

--Consistently reflect the Fruit of the Spirit in their lives and relationships

--Have a solid, if not comprehensive, understanding of Christian education

--Currently have (or if their children are older, had) their children enrolled in the school

--Have behaved appropriately in their dealings with teachers, school staff, and other parents, e.g., they have followed Matthew 18

--Do not have personal agendas; they are not interested in serving because they want to “change this or that.”  They are kingdom focused and love the school ministry.

--They are men and women of integrity; they have demonstrated that they do what they say, they do not gossip or backbite. 

--They are not “small minded”, i.e., they are focused on important issues for the school and for Christian education, not on relatively minor matters

--They are trustworthy; they will not share confidential matters with others, including a spouse.

--They have demonstrated Christian service and leadership in other venues, e.g., serving as a deacon, elder, teaching Sunday School, going on a missions trip, serving on a committee, etc.

• Do Unto Board Members as You Would have Them Do Unto You

This is simple and self-explanatory: do not say anything about or do anything to individual board members or the board that you would not want them to say about or do to you.  More positively, be intentional in supporting and encouraging the board and in promoting the reputation of each board member and the board as a whole.

Don’ts

• Do not paint an inaccurate rosy picture

Every leader wants to convey to his or her superiors that everything is going well and that he or she is competent.  We always want to put the best face forward.  Consequently, the natural temptation is to report the good news and ignore or diminish the bad news when reporting to the board.  Although this is a natural and understandable temptation, it is both wrong and unwise. The truth will surface, the bad news will become evident.  You owe it to the board to tell them the whole truth and nothing but the truth. 

If enrollments are likely to decline—tell the board sooner rather than later.  If you made a bad hire, admit it, explain how you are going to address the issue, and then fix it.  If you made a mistake regarding how you handled a disciplinary or personnel matter—be the first to tell the board.  The board should never hear bad news from others that they have not first heard from you. 

This does not mean that you share every detail of every issue with the board.  They neither need nor desire to know this much detail.  In fact, your job is to shield them from small matters.  However, if the matter is consequential and if it is likely to be an issue ultimately deserving of the board’s attention, then you owe it to them to inform them up front. 

• Don’t surprise the board

Likewise, if you believe a matter that would normally not go to the board but nevertheless is likely to affect them (or church pastors if your school is a church ministry), then immediately alert the appropriate board members and pastors.  Normally, it is the administrator’s responsibility to discipline students or terminate employees.  These are matters that fall under the jurisdiction of the administrator, not the school board. Nevertheless, if you have a situation that you have reason to believe will come to the attention of board members or pastors and that may cause them concern, or that may put them in an awkward situation—call them immediately.  In other words, do not put board members and pastors in the awkward and  unfair position of being confronted in the parking lot by a disgruntled parent or employee about an issue that they know nothing about. 

You will need to use judgment as to what situations should be brought proactively to the attention of board members and/or pastors.  Here are a couple of real-life examples to illustrate how I tend to address “dicey” situations.

Significant Student Disciplinary Matter

If the disciplinary matter is severe (e.g., multiple-day suspension or expulsion), I will typically call the board chair and inform him or her of my disciplinary decision (or that of a dean or principal)  and the reasons behind it.  I will then ask the chair if he or she has any questions or suggestions on how better to handle the situation.  Typically the board member expresses appreciation for being alerted to the situation and concurs with the decision.  In some instances, the board chair has provided very helpful suggestions.  There are several positive results of taking this approach:

1. The administrator gains wisdom and insight form the board chair

2. Trust is reinforced—the board chair (and the full board) know that I seek to honor them by avoiding unpleasant surprises

3.  Should a parent corner the chairman or other board member, he or she is able to say in effect, “yes, the superintendent consulted me about that…decisions of this nature fall under his jurisdiction…we support his decision….”

Terminating an Employee

The board should not be surprised by the termination of employees.  While it is the administrator’s responsibility to make hiring and firing decisions, the wise administrator will alert the board well in advance of potential dismissals.  My general approach is to highlight any personnel concerns I have in my monthly report to the board, including the reasons for my concerns, the steps I am taking to address them, and the potential of terminating or not renewing the employee(s).  Such forthrightness has the advantage of inviting the wise counsel of the board,  avoiding surprises, and fostering trust and support.

If a situation arises suddenly requiring an immediate response, I call the board chair (and appropriate pastor(s) if the matter may concern the church-e.g., if the employee has deep connections with the church) to alert him or her to the situation.  Depending upon the situation we may decide to convene the Executive Committee of the board to pray about and discuss the matter in more detail. 

Here is a concrete example.  I once had a situation in which the employee’s conduct was such that it justified termination.  The employee had long standing and deep connections with the school and the church.  Rather than handling the matter in isolation, I proactively called a meeting of the Executive Committee of the board and appropriate church pastors.  I reviewed the entire situation with the group—honestly and objectively, outlined my intended course of action, and solicited their prayers and godly advice.  I then proceeded to handle the situation based on the advice I’d received. 

Sure enough, the spouse of the employee setup an appointment with one of the pastors.  The spouse, after explaining what had happened asked, “Did you know about this?”  To the spouse’s surprise, the pastor was able to say, “Yes, I am aware of the situation.  The superintendent met with us to inform us of the situation…..” 

The result?  Trust and confidence were maintained with the board, the positive relationship between the school ministry and the church was reinforced, godly counsel was sought and received, a very hard decision was made, there was minimal fall-out because key leadership was informed, and our students and staff ultimately benefitted from the decision.

Do not mischaracterize or minimize a parent’s concerns

Although board members should never entertain the concerns of individual parents without going through the administrator, it happens.  If asked by a board member about Mrs. Jones’ concern, the temptation is to put the best spin on the situation, usually by downplaying the legitimacy of the concern. Doing so is dishonest and unfair to Mrs. Jones’ and to the school board. 

To avoid the problem, I ask the parent put to put his or her concern in a letter to the board for me to take to the upcoming board meeting.  The parent’s written letter reduces the likelihood that I will misinterpret or misrepresent the parent’s concern.  During the meeting I ask the board to read the letter, I provide my perspective on the matter, answer any questions that they have, and solicit their advice.  A decision is made and I communicate that decision to the parent. 

Obviously, parents will sometimes go directly to a board member with a concern.  Board members should always refer the parent back to the administrator for a response.  I address this matter below.

• Don’t sweat the small stuff

Although attention to detail is important, do not take up the board’s valuable time with relatively minor matters.  Stay focused on the larger picture—school development and growth, long-range planning, major new policies, school finance, curriculum development, staff training, etc.

• Do not die on the wrong hill

There are some matters worth fighting and dying for or being fired over.  Most matters do not rise to this level.  Choose your battles carefully.  Is it really worth creating ill will and conflict with the board over the school calendar, the dress code, the bylaws, or some other relatively minor issue in the grand scheme of things?  Probably not.  I for one, am going to be very careful where I “plant my flag.”  

• Do not be defensive

As a rule, I have found that the more competent, self-assured, and humble (no that is not a contradiction) the administrator, the less defensive he or she is. If confronted by a board member with a concern or even an accusation, listen!  Don’t immediately jump to justifying yourself or the situation.  Ask questions.  Seek to understand.  One of my favorite quotes from Steven Covey is, “Seek first to understand and then to be understood.”  Be honest.  If you screwed up—admit it, fix it, don’t do it again, and move on.  If the board member is mistaken, provide accurate information in a godly, calm, and professional manner.  DO NOT GET EMOTIONAL AND ALWAYS MAINTAIN THE HIGH MORAL GROUND REGARDLESS OF HOW THE BOARD MEMBER (OR BOARD) IS RESPONDING.  Stick to the facts and only the facts.  Do not assign motives to others.  Do not editorialize.  Do not react—instead, respond.

• Do not throw the bylaws in their face

  It is not wise to “throw the bylaws” in the face of the board, even if the board is violating those bylaws.  Bylaws are important and should be followed.  However, I do not believe it is the administrator’s responsibility to enforce the bylaws—it is the Board’s responsibility.  What if they are violating the bylaws?  I recommend setting up a lunch meeting to discuss your concerns with the board chair and leaving it at that.  In most instances the violations are relatively insignificant in the scheme of things.  Ultimately, adherence to the bylaws is not the key to healthy administrative/board relationships nor to the health of the school. 

What if the violations are of such a nature that they materially compromise the integrity of the board or your integrity?  Under such circumstances, if the board chair or board are conducting business in a manner that is illegal, immoral, unethical, and/or in clear violation of the Scriptures and if the behavior is not being addressed by the board chair and/or church leadership, you may have to resign.  I caution, however, that you should consider carefully the nature of the “violations.”  Are they substantive? In the grand scheme of things does it really matter?  If the answer is no, address it with the board chair and then let it go.  If, on the other hand, the violations are important, substantial, and threatened the health of the school, church (if applicable) or  the testimony of the Gospel, and if there is no evidence that the board will correct the problem, you may need to resign.

• Don’t speak negatively about the board or board members

Unless you have reason to be dealing with a Matt. 18 issue with the appropriate individuals, you should never speak negatively about the board, individual members of the board, or board decisions—period.  You should never go home and criticize board members or board decisions to a spouse.  You should never go to school and express disappointment, disagreement, or any other negative sentiment or comment about  a board member, the board, or board decisions to anyone.  When you leave the board meeting, it is your responsibility to support and implement board decisions to the best of your ability.

If you cannot in good conscience publically support the board’s decision, and the matter is of a substantive theological, moral, or legal nature, and you have exhausted appropriate steps to address the matter, you may need to prayerfully consider moving on.

• Don’t say “they”, say "we”

Similarly, unless the matter is a substantive theological, moral, or legal matter that you cannot in good conscience support (in contrast to a personal or professional preference), use the plural “we decided” when communicating board decisions and actions to parents and employees, even if you disagree with the decision.  If you say, “The board decided….”, you imply disagreement (perhaps in an effort to retain the good favor of those with whom you are speaking) thus fostering division. 

You may ask, “isn’t that dishonest?”  No.  You are an ex officio member (or should be) of the board.  This means you “own” the decision, it is “our decision” not “their decision.”  In other words, do not play “good cop, bad cop.”  In a board meeting you should vigorously and respectfully share your perspective and even disagreement.  Once a decision has been made and you leave the board meeting, it is “our decision.”

To Board Members

If you have had several administrators over a relatively short period of time, if the school continues to struggle after several years of operation, if there has been a history of tension or conflict with the heads of school—the problem probably lies with the board.  Take a moment to reflect prayerfully and candidly on the following list of typical mistakes.  Are any of these true of your actions?  Has or is the board making any of these mistakes?  If so, sustained action needs to be taken to correct the problem(s).

Typical mistakes boards make:

--Failing to recruit and retain a competent administrator

--Failing to disclose (being dishonest about) the true status of school operations to a prospective administrator during the interviewing process

--Failure to properly compensate the administrator

--Treating the administrator in an unbiblical manner

--Developing policies that make it difficult for the administrator to keep the school on a financially and academically sustainable course, e.g., setting tuition rates too low to support excellence, not properly capitalizing school operations, etc.

--Failing to consistently follow school policy and the bylaws

--Making decisions based on personal preferences or agendas

--Interfering with administrative affairs, trespassing upon the prerogatives of the administrator

--Attempting to micro-manage the administrator and/or school operations

--Spending too much time on relatively minor matters, e.g., dress-codes, uniforms, the calendar…

--Electing board members because of friendships or to gain allies in promoting a personal agenda or personal preferences rather than making selections based on the spiritual maturity and expertise of the board member and his or her demonstrated support for the school and Christian education

--Permitting board members to have their children enrolled in other schools

--Giving an ear to complaining parents or employees rather than directing them back to the administrator to address

--Surprising the administrator with a difficult matter during a board meeting

--Gossiping about or back stabbing the administrator

--Overturning decisions made by the administrator unless his or her decision was immoral, unbiblical, illegal, unethical, or threatens the stability and sustainability of the school

--Failing to pray for and encourage the administrator

--Failing to cover the administrator’s backside when needed

--Failure to engage in board member training

--Failure to support difficult and sometimes controversial decisions, e.g., the expulsion of a student(s), holding parents accountable to pay their tuition bill, or the termination of an employee regardless of his or her school or church connections

--Failing to hold individual board members accountable for their actions, e.g., not fulfilling his or her responsibilities or fostering division

--Focusing on the short-term rather than long-term plans and programs

As I stated above concerning administrators, the board has a biblical obligation to “Do Unto the Administrator as You Would have Him/Her Do Unto You.”  This is simple and self-explanatory: do not say anything about or do anything to the administrator that you would not want him or her to say about you or do to you if the positions were reversed.  More positively, be intentional in supporting and encouraging the administrator and in promoting his or her leadership, welfare, and reputation.

When Boards Behave Badly is an excellent companion article highlighting problems facing many school boards.

An Invitation to Administrators and Board Members to Respond

What is your reaction to this article?  What advice would you offer to administrators?  What advice would you offer to board members?

You can leave your comments on this blog or on the Facebook discussion board for this topic.