Does Your Waiter Follow These Rules? What Rules Would You Write for Serving Your Parents?
/
October 2009
100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
NYTimes, Bruce Buschel
Dr. Barrett Mosbacker, PublisherI found the following list of “rules” fascinating for several reasons: 1) It gives me a glimpse into the restaurant customer service world, 2) I found many (not all) of the rules outlined to be consistent with biblical principles of courtesy, and 3) it got me to thinking, “what would my list look like if I wrote one for Christian teachers and administrators serving students and parents?”
Here is an opportunity to share with our readers. Read through the list below. Then go to The Christian School Journal blog Facebook page, click “Discussions” and under the topic “100 Things Christian School Employees Should Never Do” post the items that you would include in a list of “100 Things Christian School Employees Should Never Do.” Alternatively, you can post your list with the comment feature (left menu of this article).
If there are 100 for restaurant service staff, surely there are 100 for serving our parents. After all, they are paying customers of the educational services we provide.
Like the list below, keep each item simple and straight forward, including a touch of humor where appropriate.
I will compile the suggestions and post them in a subsequent article. Perhaps we can compile a list that will be of help to Christian schools and the parents they serve.
100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do
1. Do not let anyone enter the restaurant without a warm greeting.
2. Do not make a singleton feel bad. Do not say, “Are you waiting for someone?” Ask for a reservation. Ask if he or she would like to sit at the bar.
3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.
4. If a table is not ready within a reasonable length of time, offer a free drink and/or amuse-bouche. The guests may be tired and hungry and thirsty, and they did everything right.
5. Tables should be level without anyone asking. Fix it before guests are seated.
6. Do not lead the witness with, “Bottled water or just tap?” Both are fine. Remain neutral.
7. Do not announce your name. No jokes, no flirting, no cuteness.
8. Do not interrupt a conversation. For any reason. Especially not to recite specials. Wait for the right moment.
9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.
10. Do not inject your personal favorites when explaining the specials.
11. Do not hustle the lobsters. That is, do not say, “We only have two lobsters left.” Even if there are only two lobsters left.
12. Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass.
13. Handle wine glasses by their stems and silverware by the handles.
14. When you ask, “How’s everything?” or “How was the meal?” listen to the answer and fix whatever is not right.
15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”
16. If someone requests more sauce or gravy or cheese, bring a side dish of same. No pouring. Let them help themselves.
17. Do not take an empty plate from one guest while others are still eating the same course. Wait, wait, wait.
18. Know before approaching a table who has ordered what. Do not ask, “Who’s having the shrimp?”
19. Offer guests butter and/or olive oil with their bread.
20. Never refuse to substitute one vegetable for another.
21. Never serve anything that looks creepy or runny or wrong.
22. If someone is unsure about a wine choice, help him. That might mean sending someone else to the table or offering a taste or two.
23. If someone likes a wine, steam the label off the bottle and give it to the guest with the bill. It has the year, the vintner, the importer, etc.
24. Never use the same glass for a second drink.
25. Make sure the glasses are clean. Inspect them before placing them on the table.
26. Never assume people want their white wine in an ice bucket. Inquire.
27. For red wine, ask if the guests want to pour their own or prefer the waiter to pour.
28. Do not put your hands all over the spout of a wine bottle while removing the cork.
29. Do not pop a champagne cork. Remove it quietly, gracefully. The less noise the better.
30. Never let the wine bottle touch the glass into which you are pouring. No one wants to drink the dust or dirt from the bottle.
31. Never remove a plate full of food without asking what went wrong. Obviously, something went wrong.
32. Never touch a customer. No excuses. Do not do it. Do not brush them, move them, wipe them or dust them.
33. Do not bang into chairs or tables when passing by.
34. Do not have a personal conversation with another server within earshot of customers.
35. Do not eat or drink in plain view of guests.
36. Never reek from perfume or cigarettes. People want to smell the food and beverage.
37. Do not drink alcohol on the job, even if invited by the guests. “Not when I’m on duty” will suffice.
38.Do not call a guy a “dude.”
39. Do not call a woman “lady.”
40. Never say, “Good choice,” implying that other choices are bad.
41. Saying, “No problem” is a problem. It has a tone of insincerity or sarcasm. “My pleasure” or “You’re welcome” will do.
42. Do not compliment a guest’s attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else.
43. Never mention what your favorite dessert is. It’s irrelevant.
44. Do not discuss your own eating habits, be you vegan or lactose intolerant or diabetic.
45. Do not curse, no matter how young or hip the guests.
46. Never acknowledge any one guest over and above any other. All guests are equal.
47. Do not gossip about co-workers or guests within earshot of guests.
48. Do not ask what someone is eating or drinking when they ask for more; remember or consult the order.
49. Never mention the tip, unless asked.
50. Do not turn on the charm when it’s tip time. Be consistent throughout.
51. If there is a service charge, alert your guests when you present the bill. It’s not a secret or a trick.
52. Know your menu inside and out. If you serve Balsam Farm candy-striped beets, know something about Balsam Farm and candy-striped beets.
53. Do not let guests double-order unintentionally; remind the guest who orders ratatouille that zucchini comes with the entree.
54. If there is a prix fixe, let guests know about it. Do not force anyone to ask for the “special” menu.
55. Do not serve an amuse-bouche without detailing the ingredients. Allergies are a serious matter; peanut oil can kill. (This would also be a good time to ask if anyone has any allergies.)
56. Do not ignore a table because it is not your table. Stop, look, listen, lend a hand. (Whether tips are pooled or not.)
57. Bring the pepper mill with the appetizer. Do not make people wait or beg for a condiment.
58. Do not bring judgment with the ketchup. Or mustard. Or hot sauce. Or whatever condiment is requested.
59. Do not leave place settings that are not being used.
60. Bring all the appetizers at the same time, or do not bring the appetizers. Same with entrees and desserts.
61. Do not stand behind someone who is ordering. Make eye contact. Thank him or her.
62. Do not fill the water glass every two minutes, or after each sip. You’ll make people nervous.
62(a). Do not let a glass sit empty for too long.
63. Never blame the chef or the busboy or the hostess or the weather for anything that goes wrong. Just make it right.
64. Specials, spoken and printed, should always have prices.
65. Always remove used silverware and replace it with new.
66. Do not return to the guest anything that falls on the floor — be it napkin, spoon, menu or soy sauce.
67. Never stack the plates on the table. They make a racket. Shhhhhh.
68. Do not reach across one guest to serve another.
69. If a guest is having trouble making a decision, help out. If someone wants to know your life story, keep it short. If someone wants to meet the chef, make an effort.
70. Never deliver a hot plate without warning the guest. And never ask a guest to pass along that hot plate.
71. Do not race around the dining room as if there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency. (Unless there is a fire in the kitchen or a medical emergency.)
72. Do not serve salad on a freezing cold plate; it usually advertises the fact that it has not been freshly prepared.
73. Do not bring soup without a spoon. Few things are more frustrating than a bowl of hot soup with no spoon.
74. Let the guests know the restaurant is out of something before the guests read the menu and order the missing dish.
75. Do not ask if someone is finished when others are still eating that course.
76. Do not ask if a guest is finished the very second the guest is finished. Let guests digest, savor, reflect.
77. Do not disappear.
78. Do not ask, “Are you still working on that?” Dining is not work — until questions like this are asked.
79. When someone orders a drink “straight up,” determine if he wants it “neat” — right out of the bottle — or chilled. Up is up, but “straight up” is debatable.
80. Never insist that a guest settle up at the bar before sitting down; transfer the tab.
81. Know what the bar has in stock before each meal.
82. If you drip or spill something, clean it up, replace it, offer to pay for whatever damage you may have caused. Refrain from touching the wet spots on the guest.
83. Ask if your guest wants his coffee with dessert or after. Same with an after-dinner drink.
84. Do not refill a coffee cup compulsively. Ask if the guest desires a refill.
84(a). Do not let an empty coffee cup sit too long before asking if a refill is desired.
85. Never bring a check until someone asks for it. Then give it to the person who asked for it.
86. If a few people signal for the check, find a neutral place on the table to leave it.
87. Do not stop your excellent service after the check is presented or paid.
88. Do not ask if a guest needs change. Just bring the change.
89. Never patronize a guest who has a complaint or suggestion; listen, take it seriously, address it.
90. If someone is getting agitated or effusive on a cellphone, politely suggest he keep it down or move away from other guests.
91. If someone complains about the music, do something about it, without upsetting the ambiance. (The music is not for the staff — it’s for the customers.)
92. Never play a radio station with commercials or news or talking of any kind.
93. Do not play brass — no brassy Broadway songs, brass bands, marching bands, or big bands that feature brass, except a muted flugelhorn.
94. Do not play an entire CD of any artist. If someone doesn’t like Frightened Rabbit or Michael Bublé, you have just ruined a meal.
95. Never hover long enough to make people feel they are being watched or hurried, especially when they are figuring out the tip or signing for the check.
96. Do not say anything after a tip — be it good, bad, indifferent — except, “Thank you very much.”
97. If a guest goes gaga over a particular dish, get the recipe for him or her.
98. Do not wear too much makeup or jewelry. You know you have too much jewelry when it jingles and/or draws comments.
99. Do not show frustration. Your only mission is to serve. Be patient. It is not easy.
100. Guests, like servers, come in all packages. Show a “good table” your appreciation with a free glass of port, a plate of biscotti or something else management approves.
I love dessert. One of my favorites is pecan pie. When I sit down to enjoy a piece of warm pecan pie Ala Mode there are two things that I am careful to do: 1) I eat slowly savoring each mouth watering morsel and 2) I am very careful not to waste a single crumb. My dog 
can lick a plate clean but he has nothing over me when it comes to getting every last morsel of taste off of my plate! (yes that is my dog--like father like son!) 
God's gifting and calling in their lives even if fulfilling that calling means they will make less money and not climb the ladder of "success". For a summary of the definition of vocation as I am using it, click 
Continuing with the technology illustration, consider that computers are great tools for problem solving, communication, modeling, research, and information storage and retrieval. As such, they can be used to aid man’s efforts to fight disease, speed communication, improve engineering designs and safety, make space exploration feasible, improve efficiency in the generation of power, and a whole host of activities too numerous to list here. All of these activities are redemptive in nature, i.e., they contribute to the alleviation of the consequences of the curse and promote the welfare of our community and world. Used in this way, computers become instruments of love.
thirty-one years, even if reading continued day and night. Printing these letters out in regular font size on normal bond paper and binding them all together would result in a tower the height of the Washington Monument."
education. Like raindrops falling into a pond, Christian educators shape lives and “drop” them into communities. Each life creates ripples—some small, some large—that radiate into the community affecting it for good or bad. Like a constant rain, the drops fall year after year all contributing individually and collectively to the national pool of talent and character that ultimately shapes our nation’s character and determines our national destiny.
I find that I must guard myself against living like a "practical atheist." That is, if I am not diligent about prayer I can find myself working harder than I pray. If I do I may be productive but I will not bear fruit! 
It is disingenuous and self-deluding to expect God to grant wisdom if we are not willing to gain the wisdom and understanding that He has already given to us in His Word. To neglect God's word is to neglect God's primary instrument for our sanctification and the source of divine wisdom and understanding. Move beyond the five-minute devotional--read and study God's word so that you nourish your own soul and have something to give to others. 
One cannot grow in wisdom, cannot abide in Christ, and cannot bear fruit apart from the Worship of God and the fellowship of His people. Just as an ember will grow cold when removed from the flame, so too our souls will grow cold if not nourished through worship and fellowship.
WARNING: this article is provocative. I am posting this article not because I agree with everything asserted (I don’t) but because it provokes thought and has relevance for how we are leading our schools during a time when the landscape of education is changing-perhaps dramatically. At the end of this article I pose some questions for your consideration.
Birth/Infant Stage
Adolescent Growth Stage
Maturing Stage
Aging Stage
The Dying Stage
closed their doors. Many who have not closed have lost students and laid off staff. More will close this year. Although a few Christian schools are thriving, most are not.
An 
s are likely to be squeezed from two sides—an anemic economy with high unemployment (and potentially high inflation) and more vigorous competition from charter schools and distance learning options.
I am not going to beat around the bush. We must do whatever it takes, provided it is biblical, to ensure that every classroom is staffed with a highly competent Christian teacher. We must dismiss, ethically and graciously, those who are unable or unwilling to learn and grow and who are merely adequate. We must stop the educational malpractice of having students educated by mediocre teachers using “grace” as a pretext for an unwillingness to make hard decisions. We do not have the right nor the liberty to make our students bear the educational cost of sitting under the instruction of ineffective or mediocre teachers. Period.
It sounds like a cliché but we need to be less reactive and more proactive as leaders. We need to look over the horizon in order to position our schools to take advantage of new opportunities and to meet new challenges. 
We strive to have a “Bias for Yes.” “Yes we Can!” (Sorry, I couldn’t resist!) “Yes we will.” “Yes, we will seriously consider that.” 
Dr. Barrett Mosbacker, PublisherDealing with difficult people can be very uncomfortable! Despite 20 years of experience, my stress level still rises whenever my administrative assistance informs me that: 
mistakes. We sin. Unlike our teenage children, we don't know everything. 
In other words, unless the request violates an important policy or foundational principle our bias should be to say yes. While it is not always possible to agree, it is possible to agree to requests more often than we like to admit. 
Stop! Pray! Think! When confronted by an upset parent or employee, when reading a brusque or mean-spirited email, or when listening to an angry diatribe on the phone, do not immediately react. Wait. An immediate emotionally driven response does not reflect the Fruit of the Spirit and will be counter-productive.
With the exception of gifts, people do not like surprises! If you are dealing with an issue that is likely to come to the attention of a board member, the pastor, or others in positions of authority—inform them in advance of the situation. 
When you make these hard decisions remember that you do not have the liberty of defending yourself to others. With the exception of those with authority over us, we must not share information regarding the circumstances of our decision with others in order to justify ourselves. We also do not have the liberty of gossiping (sharing something that is true is still gossip!). The Scriptures are clear—“Love covers a multitude of sins.” This does not mean that sin is swept under the rug—it means that we protect the reputations of our protagonists even if doing so causes others to question our leadership and decisions. Again, this is NOT about us.
Where is our country headed? What are the trends that will shape American culture? These are the questions that John Zogby, CEO of 
"Green" is more than a good slogan ... the young especially have internalized sustainability as a life goal, and that's true across the planet. 
just their community or nation on earth. The young think and buy globally (patriotism will not sell products), and they are sensitized to global issues from human rights to AIDS and poverty, even though they might not always command the facts. 
who believe that the American dream is measured in spiritual, not material, fulfillment. 
The America of 2020 will be a more tolerant nation. 
My surveying shows that we are in the middle of a fundamental reorientation of the American character, away from wanton consumption and toward a new global citizenry in an age of limited resources. 